The Burden of Love

Every phase of growing up is like a contagious epidemic where no one is safe. A 16 yr old gets a car then all of his friends will beg their parents for one too. Same goes for getting a job, relationships, getting engaged, buying a house, retiring, etc… Once you know someone that does it then it will seem like everyone jumps on the bandwagon. It’s life, all these things are inevitable but why is there one that is a particularly sensitive subject for girls and guys alike: the proper time for engagement and the ring to come with it.

They say the average income is $40,000 and rule of thumbs says you are to spend 3 months salary post tax or 2 months pretax (if you live in Texas where there’s no state tax, I would choose 3 months). The average cost of an engagement ring is between $3,500-$4,000 so men in general are spending about 40% less than the rule of thumb anyways. But let’s change a few factors to be more relevant to the people that I know bc YOU are not average

A late 20’s college graduate male can make anywhere between 45k- 120k. let’s low ball to be fair and say you make 60 k/year that means that you should buy a ring close to $10k. Sounds excessive? I think not.

After taxes, benefits and 401K you take home roughly $3,500/month.

Rent and utilities- $900 (this should be less if you live at home or with your gf and do not pay any rent)
Car and insurance/gas- $650 (why did you feel the need to buy a new car that requires higher insurance and premium gas anyways)
Cell phone- $60
Food/drinks/going out/clothes- $600 (if you have a girlfriend then she probably pays for some of this or you two would spend more time at home and cooking or maybe she packs your lunch)
presents and trips- $300
miscellaneous crap you buy from amazon/ebay/best buy- $400
school loans- $150
old debt- $200

After all this you still have $240/month. This would take you a little over 3 years to save enough to propose which is a reasonable time frame if you met someone when you were between the ages of 22-25 yrs old.

Even if you meet someone after 25 you still knew that one day you would get married so why didn’t you start saving earlier? Why do you have to meet someone to start saving? If you save for retirement early then why can’t you start saving early for a ring? If you had started saving $100/month at age 22 and let it compound monthly at a 3% interest rate and decided to get married at 28 you would be able to buy her that $10,000 ring. And that’s low balling the interest.

You knew the moment your sister took your G I Joe doll to propose to her Barbie doll that one day you were going to have to do the same. You’ve had over 20 years to save. If you haven’t saved that money then it’s not because we’re demanding, it’s because you’ve been irresponsible.

Only fools rush in?

Unless we are forcing you to propose within 6 months then we are not rushing you. If you have been dating for a few years then it should be on both of your minds. If it’s not, then maybe she’s not the one. Anything in terms of years is not rushing.

Studies have shown that complications in pregnancy increase after the age of 35. Unless you want to have a child right after marriage then you should get married earlier so that you two can spend alone time together. We don’t want to jump from living without you to living with you and a crying baby. We don’t want you to be too old to play with the children or walk our daughter down the aisle.

Why do we feel the need to be engaged or married ... I don’t know, why do you feel the need to wait?

I know there are many subsequent big purchases such as the wedding and a down payment for a house. Being we are Asian, our wedding should be paid for by the guests or you can just elope. A wedding is one day while a diamond is forever. A house is something both if you can save for together and I promise you she’d rather be married and saving for a house than not engaged and living with her parents.

What’s bothering us?
Bothersome #1 you’re not ready? What?? You’re approaching 30 and we’ve been dating for years and you’re not ready? Maybe you’re just not ready with me.

Bothersome #2- we see you going out and paying for things like expensive dinners and trips and yet you keep claiming that you don’t have enough money for a ring?

Remember that whatever size ring you get us it represents you. We’ll be wearing this ring in public holding your hand.

Who says size doesn’t matter? Your manhood and the size of our ring is the only place where size does matter. Being that we can’t control your manhood, please can we at least get a big rock somewhere?